I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
