just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
