I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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