we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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