you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
