its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
