My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
