I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize