is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
