too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
third nipple confirmed
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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