remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
