Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
