It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
