I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Watching her eat just hurts me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
you never un-have a 4some
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
