do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
