I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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