wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
