i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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