and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
