he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
