Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
