I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
