I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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