he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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