She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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