it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
