i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize