...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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