i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
