Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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