Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
