I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
