I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
