Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
farters have to be the big spoon...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
