dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
