these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
