You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
