She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
