are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
