I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Its about making memories worth repressing
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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