booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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