Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
