Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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