dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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