So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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