Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
