Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
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