i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize