So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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