I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Non-Jews are for practice
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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