i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize