That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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