Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize