she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
