jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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