we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
