why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
