escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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