great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
