i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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