I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize