I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
