We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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