I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
