Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize