Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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