Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
