We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
