how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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