I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I did not marry a roomba.
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