haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
