I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
